Here’s a convenient list of every Star Trek story. If you’re writing an episode and feel adventurous, you can, of course, use more than one of these elements, mixing and matching, but it’s certainly not necessary.
This person’s outward appearance does not match their personality, and they’re a different person once you get to know them.
We need to figure out if this thing they worship is a computer or just some git.
I’m wearing a different jacket, that can only mean the fundamental nature of the universe has gone badly wrong and everyone’s a fascist, now.
There’s a big thing in front of our ship and it won’t let us go round.
OK, two scenes ago this guy had a cold or a scratch, and now he’s a homicidal maniac.
Diversity and tolerance are important, I’m not saying they’re not, I’m just saying haven’t you noticed that at some point literally every android we meet decides they want us dead? I mean, perhaps it’s a coincidence.
This civilisation has a stupid foundational rule that means someone we like will be put to death, but they’re civilised so there’s a trial first. The moral of the story is don’t obey laws you think are stupid.
Apparently superpowerful beings like watching us having fistfights they don’t approve of, or solving Suduko type puzzles.
Oh god, a surreal dreamscape type thing. Ride out this wacky bullshit for 45 minutes and we’ll find out if it’s an alien testing us or just an entertainment system malfunctioning. I think that last thing was meant to be funny. It wasn’t.
Let’s just test this new invention. Oh … crap. Sorry for your loss.
We’re fully committed to the scientific method, we have holograms, teleports, and psychic powers, and we’re on top of an interdimensional rift, but I’m pretty sure that’s a genuine spooky ghost. Oh … wait. No. Rational explanation.
Someone else from the Federation is on board, and they’re an absolute loon.
So the ship’s been hijacked, but tbh if they’d just asked, we’d probably have given them a lift to where they’re going, it sounds like it’s well worth checking out.
It’s the sort of time travel thing where if the historical thing doesn’t happen literally the same second it’s meant to have happened, involving a key individual, the whole of humanity will die in a fire, because that’s definitely how history works.
Did I not mention that a member of my family is an annoying twat? Did I never even mention them before now? Well, here they are.
Perhaps more people will watch if the Borg are in it. Don’t worry about the story too much, because we’re not.
Lance Parkin 